I cannot possibly form another creative sentence. I am forgetting words. I am forgetting what day it is despite the fact that I wrote it down three times this morning, as I do every morning. My head is foggy and I can't see more than a few feet ahead.
A slight edge of depression, a sense of loss looms. I've lost my stamina. I am breathless running up a flight of stairs. I am not the fit, smart, workhorse I was six months ago. I feel hopeless that I will ever get back to the level of functioning I used to take for granted.
I just need to wallow today. I don't want to feign positive attitude. So, let me be sad. Let me be ugly. Let me angry.
I'll get to tomorrow when I get to it. The good thing is, I don't even have the ability to be anxious about tomorrow.
I do know, however, that whatever I'm feeling now will likely be different tomorrow, even if only slightly different. And that's cool.
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